The Secret Lives of Hubpages Staff

Throughout our Hubpages' journeys, we may begin to feel as if we know certain staff members, particularly the more visible of the bunch. From my personal experience on Hubpages, the more ubiquitous staff members are Jason Menayan, Maddie Ruud, Paul Deeds and Larry Freeman. Jason is seen frequenting the forums, heading up the contests, and is a general go-to kinda guy. Maddie (bless her) has the inenviable job of keeping the forum peace, spam-free, and making sure questions get answered. More recently, we're beginning to get to know Norah Casey and Fawntia Fowler. On the more mysterious side, we have Jay Reitz, a co-founder and vice president of engineering. We all have an enormous amount of respect for the CEO and co-founder, the infamous Paul Edmondson, who will make the occasional forum visit.

However, with some sly detective work, way too much time on my hands and a case of prosopagnosia, I've come to unveil the secret lives of our acclaimed Hubpages staff.

This all started when I joined the Helpful Health Hubs contest a while back. When I first saw the face of Jason Menayan I knew right away he was George Eads from CSI. As if he is fooling anyone, masquerading around like Jason, riiiiight.... The reason he was late for his first day of shooting the fifth season of CSI (and fired, then rehired, I might add) was due to a particularly late night he spent debating on HP's forums.

Maddie knows you can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. She's had a good run trying to hide the fact that she's Gillian Anderson from the former X Files series. She's brought with her a few famous mantras from the X Files days: “The Truth is out There”, “Trust No One” and “I Want to Believe”. These have come in handy with her role as a forum moderator... Although she's been repeatedly scolded for continually placing super glue in HP's office doors as a prank, she states she simply cannot stop, she simply has a propensity for it. She's now strip searched upon entering the headquarters for any illicit sticky material, gum included.

Oh, please... “Norah Casey”, you're not pulling the wool over anyone's eye here. Of course we all know you're Daphne from Scooby Doo. You really haven't aged one bit. She's frequently seen making extremely large hoagie sandwiches for her dog, who no one is certain even EXISTS! She alleges he's a Great Dane and needs these snacks frequently. She's EXCELLENT at opening locks, which comes in handy with “Maddie” around.

Kate Winslet, AKA Fawntia Fowler (nice try on the name), spends enormous amounts of time on her Yacht called the H.P. Titanic with her best friend, Leonardo DiCaprio. She's still in the habit of hiding her British accent, but after filming Neverland, she started calling everyone a “bloke” again.

Paul Deeds has been less successful keeping his Will Ferrell identity a secret. His frequent absences and obvious abrasions while filming “Blades of Glory” was a dead giveaway. He will occasionally come to work dressed as Neil Diamond, fortunately this is only on Fridays. His coworkers are less than pleased when he attempts to resurrect his Ted Kaczynski character days. He's been asked to never bring any type of fake bomb to the headquarters again.

Speaking of Saturday Night Live characters, we are honored to have amongst us none other than Jon Lovitz, masquerading around as this “Larry Freeman” character. Just like “Paul” (as we'll call him), HP frowns on his propensity for coming into work as Tommy Flanagan, the pathological liar. No one finds the phrase: “Ya, that's the ticket” at all funny. There have been numerous feckless attempts made to get him to stop wearing Hawaiian shirts when he's meeting someone important. He's frequently seen smoking cigars in a seedy, back alley.

“Jay Reitz” only uses photos from his younger days as the infamous Beetles member Ringo Starr. He has a very hard time typing due to his overabundance of rings. He has a large collection of Thomas the Train tanks on his desk and occasionally breaks out into long, heartfelt children's stories and is fond of saying: “Pop goes the diesel.” His airdrum playing is a constant distraction at HP, but even worse is his continual pencil tapping in meetings.

And last, but of course not least, is our CEO parading around by the pen name “Paul Edmondson”. With a fondness for naming his children fruit, he is, of course in reality, Coldplay's Chris Martin. His true identity was discovered during his gig at MongoMusic. As a vegetarian, he's continually on Daphne's case about her obscene collection of cold cuts. He's often seen doing the downward dog after a particularly stressful day at HP, or before recordings. He is constantly caught throwing Ben Afflcek and Brad Pitt out of the building, since, according to Chris, “neither are over my wife, Gwyneth Paltrow.